Here's a script I wrote but quit because it was poorly researched and I didn't have a punchline: it was basically becoming a column for Economic Rationalist Quarterly.

1: President Bush, thanks for your time.

2: Always a pleasure.

1: With global prices for oil surging consistently over the last few months, what are you doing to ease the pressure on low to middle income families?

2: Look, unfortunately there's very little we can do. The oil industry is just that: an industry, regulated by supply and demand just like any other industry.

1: There's less supply, but greater demand?

2: That's correct. It's simple economics.

1: I would have thought that the control the military has over pipelines in Iraq would have -

2: Look I'll stop you there Cameron. We're not in Iraq for oil.

1: Okay.

2: Frankly the very notion that you would suggest to steal a sovereign nation's chief commodity is appalling.

1: Well, I'm not really suggesting that.

2: I mean, we go over there to liberate these people, from a brutal dictatorship, and we did. So now that they're getting back on their feet, you want to take the rug right from under them?

1: Not at all.

2: You're awful.

1: I'm saying, if we did n't go to Iraq for oil, but there's now an issue with the supply of oil meeting the demand for it, surely we could use that oil in Iraq to meet demand and help your own citizens who are struggling with rocketing costs?

2: I'm not aware of anybody struggling with the costs of rocketing Cameron.

1: That's not what I meant.

2: I think you should get your facts straight.

1: Surely the best way to -

2: Iraq is a complex issue. We're there for a reason, and with a mission, and oil is not a part of that mission. Taking oil from helpless Iraqis... heartless.

1: The Government Accountability