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Wanna See My Abortion?

2008-06-07 08:34:47 by Cambo

Here's a script I wrote but quit because it was poorly researched and I didn't have a punchline: it was basically becoming a column for Economic Rationalist Quarterly.

1: President Bush, thanks for your time.

2: Always a pleasure.

1: With global prices for oil surging consistently over the last few months, what are you doing to ease the pressure on low to middle income families?

2: Look, unfortunately there's very little we can do. The oil industry is just that: an industry, regulated by supply and demand just like any other industry.

1: There's less supply, but greater demand?

2: That's correct. It's simple economics.

1: I would have thought that the control the military has over pipelines in Iraq would have -

2: Look I'll stop you there Cameron. We're not in Iraq for oil.

1: Okay.

2: Frankly the very notion that you would suggest to steal a sovereign nation's chief commodity is appalling.

1: Well, I'm not really suggesting that.

2: I mean, we go over there to liberate these people, from a brutal dictatorship, and we did. So now that they're getting back on their feet, you want to take the rug right from under them?

1: Not at all.

2: You're awful.

1: I'm saying, if we did n't go to Iraq for oil, but there's now an issue with the supply of oil meeting the demand for it, surely we could use that oil in Iraq to meet demand and help your own citizens who are struggling with rocketing costs?

2: I'm not aware of anybody struggling with the costs of rocketing Cameron.

1: That's not what I meant.

2: I think you should get your facts straight.

1: Surely the best way to -

2: Iraq is a complex issue. We're there for a reason, and with a mission, and oil is not a part of that mission. Taking oil from helpless Iraqis... heartless.

1: The Government Accountability


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2008-06-07 08:39:46

darknessdweller wuz here.


2008-06-07 08:39:58

This is RUBISH!!!
Weh U release this I will vote 0!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that iz a fact!!!!!!!


2008-06-07 08:40:02

Do moar B/P'ing mang.

Cambo responds:

Word, y'all.


2008-06-07 08:41:35



2008-06-07 08:57:19

A whole script without swearing? I'll five you just for that.


2008-06-07 09:35:28

2: Look Cameron, I know about the oil prices, but we are not going to steal a country's way of life to do that.

1: Wait, just wait a minute, I have an idea.

2: Is it another stupid one?

1: My ideas are not stupid!

2: Get on with it!

1: ...Okay. Here is my idea. We buy tons of oil from one country for later, then we stop sending them billions of dollars worth of food and money.

2: Otherwise, a boycott?

1: Yes, sir. We will continue this boycott until the government will have to sell us lower priced oil.

2: That is brilliant. Yet, this may cause a disturbance.

1: A war?

2: Yes.

1: Don't worry, Bush. If we can get Europe, Canada, and Mexico to fight with us, they will be pushovers. They have incredible amounts of oil prices.

2: Cameron...

1: Yes, sir?

2: Do you have a family?

1: Yes, sir.

2: By any chance... are you doing this for them?

1: Yes, sir.

2: ... You are dismissed, Cameron.

1: Yes sir.

This is just something that I made up from where you left off. It doesn't have a punchline either, but it could go into the serious shorts collection.


2008-06-07 11:50:33

I want my abortion.


2008-06-07 12:27:55


This Journal is SICK.


2008-06-07 14:34:52

darknessdweller wuz here.


2008-06-07 17:58:03

That made me lol.

Reflects on how Bush REALLY acts :P

Cambo responds:

It was going to end with "why don't we steal Iraq's oil?" then Bush saying "there isn't any" then cameron saying "how come?" and bush says "we stole it". but this is old news, that everybody knows about, and the proposed solution in the flash is what they're already doing.


2008-06-09 02:25:13